TAM 029: Dane Maxwell – Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
In episode 29, Dane Maxwell (from TheFoundation.com) and I start to chat about marketing automation, then the conversation takes an unexpected turn and I am glad it did. It actually turned out to be a much more interesting show.
Dane is a successful entrepreneur and has started or helped start many businesses. However, his real superpower is helping people overcome what is really holding them back in business, their limiting beliefs. So listen in as we chat about the roadblocks that may actually be holding back your business and how to get past them.
The Four Questions:
- What are you trying to prove?
- Who are you trying to please?
- What are you trying to hide?
- What are you trying to show?
Make sure you check out The Foundation's new free video course.
Links Mentioned In The Show
Announcer: Welcome to the active marketer podcast! Where we talk about how to design, automate, and scale your business to the next level using sales and marketing automation. You can find out all the tips, tactics, and techniques you need to get more customers and sell more stuff over at theactivemarketer.com. Now, here's your host, Barry Moore.
Barry: Welcome to episode twenty-nine of the active marketer podcast. I'm your host, Barry. This week, we've got an interesting show. It's with Dane Maxwell from thefoundation.com. I've been following Dane for years and he's been doing great work over at the foundation helping entreprenuers get started.
Well, we started off the interview talking about marketing automation and it took a bit of an unexpected turn which I think turned out to be great. And we started talking about some other things that really seemed to hold a lot of people back in business and that's limiting beliefs as to what you can accomplish, and who you are, and what you believe in. So really really interesting interview. Not our normal kind of more technically focused interviews, but really really fantastic. I think it's well worth a listen for anybody who's an entrepreneur or running their own business. Just a word of warning, we do a let a few swear words fly. There might be the occasional F-bomb in this episode. So if you're driving with your kids in the car you might want to listen to this at another time. Let's just jump straight into this interview with Dane from thefoundation.com.
All right I'd like to welcome to the show entrepreneur extraordinaire, Dane from thefoundation.com. And if you haven't checked out thefoundation.com I urge you to go over and do that. It's a great resource for any entrepreneur wanting to start a business, any kind of business. They specialise in kind of [fast 00:01:55] businesses, but what they teach applies to any kind of business. So welcome Dane.
Dane: Yeah, thank you.
Barry: Really excited to have you on the show because I know you've got heaps of experience, and you're kind of a serial entrepreneur. You've built heaps of businesses, so you've got … And you teach other people how to build them so you've got heaps of experience on how to go from zero to hero with your automation and your sales funnel. So always great to get stories from the trenches. So why don't we talk a little bit about what automations you've put to work in your businesses, and what you've seen really works and kind of the shit that doesn't work.
Dane: Wow. Where do you want me to start?
Barry: Anywhere you like, brother. Anywhere you like.
Dane: Well I just love automation. I don't love full automation. Like, I don't love automation in the sense of, like, what can you get away with automating, but I do really love a lot of automation in terms of how can you greater serve your customer. And so my intention in automation is, generally speaking, how do we serve and sync with the customer. I'm getting to a point now where I'm wanting to … If you think about a hundred unique visitors visiting a landing page, let's say on average ten to twenty of them give you an email address. So, the other eighty to ninety leave. Well, I'm interested in like, how do you get fifty out of a hundred people to interact on your site and that other fifty… out of the fifty how do you segment the mediately to communicate with them in an automated way based on what their key desire and key objections are. So, it's literally like just shooting fish in a barrel. And that's the level of automation and segmentation that I'm thinking about these days.
Barry: And how are you going about that? How are you segmenting those people as they interact with your site?
Dane: Well, we're creating a free course, as we speak, where when you click on… instead of, like, the email address and a button where you put the email in and then push the button. What happens is there's a button and then you push the button and then usually there's an opt-in, like a little pop up opt-in. So it's a little bit of engagement before you have to enter the email address which boosts response rate generally. Instead of actually even having an email right away, there's a pop up right away that immediately asks the person who they are. So, when you click the button it says “Who are you? Entrepreneur, employee, freelancers, student or other?” They answer that then it asks the next question is “How much do you want your business to make per month?” They answer anywhere from five, five hundred thousand a month. Then the next question is “What is your current biggest roadblock in getting there?” And then we have five pre-defined answers based on about fifty hours of pouring through survey data, categorising all the survey responses into like fifteen categories and then taking the fifteen down to the five most common and ranking those. And so we have the five most common roadblocks for our audience as the next answer. So you answer those three things. That data gets passed over into active campaign and now in active campaign we can talk to entrepreneurs like entreperneurs, employees like employees, freelancers like freelancers, students like students, etc.
Barry: So you're basically doing a mini survey at the front and then that segments them and puts them in so they're five separate automations in the back, one for each category?
Dane: That is the plan, yes.
Barry: Yeah, okay. Very cool, very cool.
Dane: And it doesn't actually even need to be five automations, you know. The content is the same. Maybe it's like all in the same sequence or just like a tag that's like the first three lines. So, as an employee, you're just like, man… You know one of the most dreaded things as an employee is to go wake up in the morning knowing that you're going to have to go listen to a boss tell you what to do all day. Dot, dot, dot. That's why we love building businesses. Versus, like, if you're an entrepreneur, it's like, one of the worst feelings as an entrepreneur is working in a bad business model where every day you actually don't build wealth but you just get by, that's why we love building businesses[inaudible 00:06:13] As a student, you know, it's like… probably one of the things you always got to keep in mind as a student is the professor's don't know very much about business because if they did they probably own million dollar businesses but instead they're teaching it. Dot, dot, dot. Which is why we love building businesses. So, we may not even need five sequences but just that intro paragraph at the top.
Barry: Yeah, I like it. That actually brings up a good point. There's a feature in active campaign and a lot of the automation platforms that people don't use a lot which is conditional content, right? So, just lie you said, there's one email there but it might have five beginning paragraphs to it depending on how that customer's been tagged or segmented going into the sequence in the first place. Very cool, very cool. When you're segmenting those people do you find a dramatically different response rate from those customers?
Dane: I don't know yet. We're just doing… we launched it on August tenth, it's currently What? August first or second?
Barry: And so, what have you been doing with them previously, you know, up to date.
Dane: Oh, just giving everyone the same damn sequence. I mean, we haven't even like… yeah, we've been sloppy marketers. We've not been implementing what our mindset was. Up until, finally like August tenth. You know, I've been doing automated marketing for my [sass00:07:23] businesses for, you know, seven, eight years. And I love doing that stuff. I have a very different approach, I think, than most other people, in that, I assume a certain level of sophistication in my customers.
So right now, I just spent two hours today putting together email sequences that we're going to send out. So we have this August tenth course going live, right. So we have th entrepreneur, the employee, the freelancer, and theey answer their income goal and what's stopping them and they drop right into the first video. Then they go to the second and third and fourth. If they don't finish those videos, we're going to be sending them six emails over the course of… or four emails over the course of a week. Saying, you know “Hey, we see you didn't watch this video. Why not? Like, is there something else you want? Maybe you want some different [inaudible 00:08:18]” And like, that's literally what the email says, if you don't, if you do want to watch this, here's the link. That's all the email is, like all this [inaudible 00:08:28]. Let me just like, ill just pull up… I'll pull up a few emails and read them, if you'd like.
Okay, one of our videos is on mindset. Okay. So if they don't watch, if they don't finish the video after twenty four hours, here's an email they get; “Subject” I wrote this today, I don't know if there's any[inaudible 00:08:51], we'll see, based on response. Subject, colon, you're mind is calling. And then inside. It wants you to be free free from doubt anxiety and fear. You still have not watched this video on mindset yet, is there anything I can help you with. Push reply right now and let me know. Otherwise, here's the video, I think you'll enjoy it mucho. Toodles, Dane.
Barry: Yeah, exactly. Nice. Just stick to the point.
Dane: Right and I'm like is there anything I can help you with. Like, what's up? Maybe you got busy in your day. So that's within twenty four hours. Now, but in two days, the next email I send out is: subject, your mind, question mark. What sort of self talk has your mind been up to today? Whatever it is, dot, dot, dot, it truly wants you to be free. Free from doubt, anxiety, and fear. So it's basically the same email. You still have not watched this video yet. Is there anything I can help you with? Push reply and let me know, otherwise here's the video I think you'll enjoy mucho, toodles. But it's just like the first two or three lines are different.
Okay the next one, four days later. Subject line, when will it change, question mark. Have you ever wondered when the self talk of your mind will become your best friend instead of a fearful enemy… I'm actually going to update this… that cuts you down? Your mind, dot, dot, dot, it wants you to be free, free from [inaudible 00:10:02] anxiety, fear, yadda, yadda, yadda, the same shit.
Next one, day six. Subject line… If they haven't watched the mindset video, this is the fourth email that goes out. Subject line, the greatest disease, the greatest disease plaguing our species is, dot, dot, dot “I'm not enough.” But I have great news, your mind and body doesn't want you to suffer, it wants you to be free. Free from doubt, anxiety, fear, blah blah blah, the same shit as all the other ones. So, if you don't watch the mindset video, we're going to fall up woth you four days until you complete it. And those would be like the example emails that we send out.
Barry: Yeah. Very cool. And, so is that the same for all the videos in the funnel?
Dane: I think so. What do you think? Four emails if they don't watch the video, until they watch it?
Barry: Yeah, I think so. I think, you know.. You're trying to get them there for a purpose and if they're not going to take that purpose then you don't really need them on the.. I'm pretty ruthless with the list. You know, if you're not here to get the message then get off the list. You know. So I don't mind taking a kind of more hard line approach with like “yeah, here's what you asked for, why aren't you looking at it. Here's what you asked for, why aren't you looking at it.” And if they get pissed off with that, well then they weren't really your ideal customer in the first place. So I think that's great. And that kind of duck tails into something, I think you guys, you especially, are really great at is the limiting mindset belief. You know, you've had, what a thousand people now come through the foundation? How many people have come through the foundation so far?
Dane: Roughly fifteen hundred.
Barry: Fifteen hundred. Yeah so well over a thousand people. Would you say that that is probably like the one thing that you see in common with most of the people who want to become entrepreneurs or are starting out on that entrepreneurial journey, is that limiting mindset belief?
Barry: And why do you think that is?
Dane: Aw man, I really love this question a lot. So let me just feel into my heart space for a second. They're just really confused and scared, Barry. Really confused and scared, they haven't learned to trust themself. The times they've trusted themselves in the past they've gotten hammered or punished or devistated by someone. When they thought they were doing what was right. Their mom, their father, or someone just totally, brutally attacked them and that registered fear up in their brains. So now every time they begin to think for themselves, truly think for themselves, and then speak for themselves, and follow that really natural innate born desire that they were born to be with, it gets clouded by all this fear. And it just so happens that for whatever reason a lot of people get paralysed going after their deepest, deepest desires. And I had a fortunate, unfortunate upbringing where I… I had a pretty traumatic upbringing. So I learned how to completely just shut off my feelings so I could take action. Like I could actually… like if I showed my feelings around my mom growing up, for example, it would usually not turn out to be very good, so I learned how to go numb.
Dane: So, I was starting out in business I'd have total debilitating fear. Total debilitating self worth issues. Total debilitating everything. And I just ignored it, and for whatever reason it never fucking mattered. And I don't think self worth issues, really, if you can shut them off, you can be successful for quite a while until you become conscious enough to see that they're there. And then the point where you're conscious enough to notice there's pain, then you can't live with is anymore. But there's like this window where you start to become conscious, just enough to be conscious just enough of the pain but not conscious enough to be able to let go and heal that. And that tends to be a stasis place where people are stuck and the… so that's like one theory of [inaudible 00:14:04] that people are reall just deeply scared and scared of truly trusting themselves. Like if I could just teach one concept for the rest of my life it would be some flavour of: let me show you how to deply trust yourself.
Barry: You know I remember, I listened to a call you did with somebody, I can't remember who the person was but it was basically one of these calls where you just walk this guy through. But like, what his limiting beliefs were and what was holding back. And it was just an amazing thing to listen to. And you must do that over and over with the people from the foundation. I guess this is a two part question. What's the mechanism or what's the process you got yourself through that limiting belief and that, you know, going from numb and aware of the pain too. Just moving past it and kind of self actualizing and what's the kind of basic framework that you help other people do that same thing?
Dane: Let's see. Im noticing I'm having an emotional reaction, right now, to the question, in a good way.
Barry: Well, I think that's your super power, man. You know that's your path that you're supposed to take. I mean all the entrepeneureal stuff is great but, I mean, the fact that you helped so many people get through so many limiting beliefs that are holding them back. That's you know, I think… me personally looking from the outside, I think that's your path, man.
Dane: Yeah, I sneak it in[inaudible 00:15:47]
Barry: Well, what I wanted to say was… there is… it's a very debilitating feeling that… Well, I don't know, I mean… it's just humbling to explore the space because, you know, I used to really think that like, okay, your self worth and your true self esteem really let's got those sorted out and then we'll have you taking action. And now I'm like, you know, I don't really know if you need to sort that out, you can actually just follow this process and no matter how insecure or how much doubt or how much not-enough-ness or self worth you feel like you lack, no matter how much your self esteem is struggling. You could actually still follow the process and become successful. It's just that there's a lot of friction. So what happens is the limiting beliefs and the debilitating self talk, what they do is they create friction.
So it depends on how strong you are. You know, and I was born into the world dying, like from the second I was born I was choking on… I had a rare condition where I had faeces and poop in my lungs, I couldn't breath the second I was alive, and then I went on to die in my sleep repeatedly for the first year and a half of my life. And then I went on, after that, to have debilitating allergies and just a terrible… if there was anyone you would ever doubt that would make it, it would've been me. But I was born fighting. So I'm very strong, in that I can withstand a tonne of emotional pain. So much emotional pain that I was able to really push through, which is what it was, it was a giant push [inaudible 00:17:44] friction.
You know, there are like essentially… there's a guy that I hung out with, he's been on Oprah and… Dr. Mark Goulston, he's the author of “Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone” or something along those lines. I was sitting at a table with him for lunch and I said “you know, Mark, I'm trying to figure out my life purpose,” and you know Mark's like “Oh, that's really easy, all you got to do is ask these four questions, address the four questions, and then your natural calling's just going to emerge.”
Dane: That easy.
Barry: Yeah, right. Of course. And I'm like “okay, well, you know, screw you and thank you.” At the same time. And so, you see now the four questions are: What are you trying to prove? Who are you trying to please? What are you trying to hide? What are you trying to show? And you ask those four questions and… nnow the thing is you might be able to consciously answer that but there's a lot of deeply unconscious shit going on in those four questions. And so let's just say the question, what are you trying to prove? You know, that's a powerful question, and if it's your self worth, now you're going to have friction taking action. Now, here's the really exciting thing, really really truly, probably one of the most exciting things that I've ever discovered personally. Is that the things that I want to do from a place of pain, I still want to do from a place of no pain, the journey's just a hell of a lot more fun.
Barry: So, like starting the foundation, I've always wanted to start the foundation. But one of the things I was trying to prove that unconsciously became clear to me was that I wanted to prove to my parents that they could be wealthy too. You know, I started to be really successful in software, it's like, Mom, Dad, look at this, you could make millions of dollars in software, you guys can do this, this is so easy, just come do it, you don't need an idea, you don't need money, you don't need experience, just follow this process and just do the exact same thing I'm doing, this process is so cool, come do it, and they didn't want to do it. So, you know, I started the foundation, and I didn't even know this, this was unconscious.
And so when I released that, in order to release that I basically drop into the feeling space, they're called feeling beliefs. Which is really phenomenal, here we are in automation marketing podcasts, we can get back to that in a second but something really important, I want you guys to consider is you don't change your thoughts to change how you feel. If you do that your change is temporary. Traditional advice tells you to change your thoughts to change how you feel.
For example, if you fail just view failure as progress instead of failure as failure. Right, so if you fail and then you're like, crap, you know, if my product failed or the sale failed and you feel into that you're like aw, that's kind of… and failure is attached to your identity of worth. Now if you change the thought, you know what. No, no. Failure isn't failure to me it just means I'm learning something new because what I did didn't work, failure is feedback. Right, so like, okay, great. So you're holding that thought but what's happening unconsciously for you is unconsciously your identity and your self worth is attached to this deep level.
So what's happening is you're trying to change your thoughts to change how you feel but what actually needs to happen is you need to go into the feeling, the felt belief, the belief that comes from a deeply seated feeling, feel into the feeling, feel it to it's completion, as soon as you feel the feeling, the feeling is not inexhaustible, it has an endpoint, and you pop through the bottom of the feeling. The feeling belief fades. So all of a sudden, you look at failure and you're like: failure, what is failure even mean? What does that mean, failure? I'm not even really certain that failure has any context at all. Failure just means, oh I guess that didn't work. But there's no impact on your identity. There's no impact on your true self esteem or your self worth. Because you dealt with the feeling belief. So traditional advice is like, yeah, hey, change your thoughts, change how you feel. But what I'm saying is actually go into the deep-rooted feeling of failure, feel to the bottom of it, and then once you do, you'll have complete and total freedom.
And what's awesome, is you don't actually have to worry about changing your thoughts anymore because you're just naturally, your mind just quiet. When you rip out the feeling belief of self worth. Like you don't ever worry about… you don't have, like self… I don't have, I truly don't have self worth issues on a broad scale. Now there might be microscopic, minuscule moments where like, oh wow, hey, there's the self worth issue coming up. But for the most part, the concept of like, I feel worthy, just resinates as… just so clean inside my body. And the concept of worth doesn't even make sense to me anymore. Like it does, but only under the context of conditional love.
So this is a really important point. Highly significant. Not only have I felt to nearly the completion of self worth, as far as I can tell, and so I feel just totally worthy as I am for no other reason than I just am. So like, not only do I have this thing… You struggle with self worth issues, right, you say okay, like, gosh. I can get this business up then I'll feel worthy. I can get that girlfriend then I'll feel worthy. And what happens, it doesn't work because it just doesn't. You know this if you tried. What happens is all you actually have to do is go in to the terrifying traumatic feeling of not feeling worthy and feel it, gravely. And find someone that can actually hold space and guide you there emotionally. And when you do you feel the bottom. Like, what happened for me is I was like holy shit. Not only have I been worried this whole time, wait I actually haven't even been worthy… wait my worth was never in question. The fuck?
And so I'm like okay, well if my worth has never been in question then what's the whole point of business. What's the whole point of life. I was like, shit. The whole point of life, if it's not to prove my worth, for me personally. Some people won't resonate proving their worth, other people might resonate with wanting belonging and acceptance. Other people might resonate with wanting to prove their value or their significance. Other people may just never want to feel alone. You know, whatever the issue is. There's nine core emotions that make up the human experience of suffering.
And so yeah, I got to this point, I was like okay. My worth's never been in question. Holy crap. What's the point of life? Well, the whole point of life then is just simply just to enjoy it. And so what are you going to wake up to do today? Whatever it is you're about to do, I hope the reason that you're about to do it is because of only one thing that's you absolutely enjoy it. So then, you know… If you're not starting a business to prove your worth but just truly to enjoy it then the whole purpose of business is just to have fun. And then when the whole purpose of business is to have fun, you actually reach a whole new level of mastery that you never would from some sort of striding place of trying to prove your worth. So, it is very significant. How do you talk about this? Is you hear me speak imagine our foundation students being around me and around this energy for six whole months there's no wonder that they come out remarkably free individuals.
Dane: Yeah, that's… Dane, that's probably the best business advice I've ever heard.
Barry: What about it?
Dane: Just that, you know, I think people lose sight and even… you know I'm guily of it as anybody… but just lose sight of why they're doing stuff and what they're doing stuff for or they're just flat out not freaking honest about why they're doing stuff. Weather it's to prove their self worth or to not be alone or whatever that driving subconscious issue is. They're not just being honest and recognising what that is and not going back to why you're doing everything in the first place which is if you don't have those self worth issues. Is it fine? You wake up every morning and, you know, the mass majority of people I come across are complaining about what they do every day. It's like, well why don't you change that then if you're so unhappy about it?
Barry: Yeah. You rip out the feeling beliefs of that person who complains and pretty soon they just naturally start doing what they love. You don't even need to pull any tricks out. Hire an accountability person or set a goal or like… that stuff is pretty ineffectual compared to going in ripping out the feeling set of beliefs to the point where your heart just naturally pulls you in the direction you want to go. It's effortless. Life is designed that way.
Dane: Which brings me to something I wanted to loop back to. You were talking about earlier. With kind of what you see with all the people going through the foundation is: you know you could probably follow the formula and have a moderate level of success just by following, you know, whatever… if you're taking some action and heading in the right direction, you're going to have some sort of measure of success whatever that means to you. But in the foundation those people who are… who kind of find their own authenticity and deal with those limiting beliefs and go on to be successful versus those people that kind of just follow the formula and go on to be successful but there's a lot of friction, as you said before. What kind of ratio is there in that? So how many people are going in successful with friction and versus without friction?
Barry: I don't know if… it's a hard question because every successful entrepreneur, truly successful entrepreneur in the foundation has done the deep work.
Dane: Cool. Very cool.
Barry: It shows up… what happens is they're like, oh. I don't want to do this crap. They're like, I'm not going to do the limiting beliefs shit. So three months in they're absolutely freaking exhausted and in so much pain they're like you know what I'm in so much pain I'm going to visit this limiting beliefs stuff. They spend like, a day clearing their limiting beliefs and then… they're like a rocket. But you know they don't do it until they're really in a lot of pain. Our top students are manipulating in a great way and rewriting and updating the software of their mind, updating their subconscious mind how they view themselves, how they see themselves. And because of that, like astronomically high growth rates.
One guy was like… he had to drop out of the foundation at three months in, he had a few hundred bucks to his name and within three or four months he was making like twenty to fifty grand a month. And he was just doing high level consulting, he was using the foundation framework to go out, find a pain in a business, sell them a one off solution, outsource the one off solution and then take a big premium. He knows how to price anchor because he's going after a big pain as a developer whatever build the one off solution, he pockets the profit, and then he's off. He's just always prospecting for consulting clients and successful businesses have a lot of good problems to solve. You know, there's always good problems to be solved by successful businesses. So he goes after successful businesses and every night when was going to bed he was rewriting his identity as a fifty thousand dollar per month business owner.
And doing that five minutes before bed when the conscious id most susceptible to change. Now the other fascinating thing with this guy is he wrote another book that I would recommend called “Letting Go: the pathway to surrender.” And that book just talks about like surrendering your feelings like going into the feelings. So, he felt this pit in his stomach so he'd wake up every morning for an hour and just sit there and unconditionally feel this pit in his stomach. One hour, seven days. After about seven days, boom. He popped through it, the pit in his stomach disappeared and he was completely free and the next day he closed like maybe fifteen, twenty, or thirty thousand dollars in sales. The very next day.
I'm telling you, that this is astronomical results which is why I think students in the foundation come out so freaking happy. Even if they don't build software they're so freaking happy because they feel successful and happy anyway and they don't even want to do software anymore in the first place. They're like, shit no, I want to be a musician. I want to be an artist. And then they go actually do what they like.
But this guy, the fifteen thousand, twenty thousand or maybe thirty, I can't remember, in sales the next day. I said well, what the hell happened? He's like oh dude they were right in front of my face the whole time, I just couldn't see it because all my own shit was in the way. And so that's just generally what happens. Like, you know.
If I'm ever coaching a student who's struggling, I just… instead of asking them, like what their problems are, I just watch them implement for like five minutes share the screen, watch them like prospect via email. And then I'm like holy crap. What are you doing? Like why are you doing this way? Why aren't you following the process? Like, why aren't you doing this over here? And then I'm like… and they're like oh I thought this and then I'm like oh [inaudible 00:30:30] this. And then all of a sudden they're like oh, I'm really terrified of getting rejected on emails so I'm trying to skirt around all these fucking issues. And little do they know that the success has been right in front of them the whole time. It's literally right in front of their nose. A world of financial abundance is totally just right the fuck in front of your face but you can't see it because you have all this fear. So that guy surrendered his fear and the very next day he closed fifteen grand, twenty grand, thirty grand. It was always right in front of him the whole time.
Dane: Amazing, man, amazing.
Barry: It's a trip, it's absolutely a trip. It works.
Dane: All right. We kind of went off on a tangent there and I'm really, really, really, really, really glad we did because I think it's kind of the elephant in the room for a lot of people, you know. They don't want to address their self worth issues or their pain issues or whatever and they just want to mask it with the next business book or the next strategy or whatever. And as you said, until you are a little bit honest with yourself and you can sit in your issues for a while, you're never going to find that frictionless pace in your business or your life or whatever it is you want to do.
Barry: Yeah. It's humbling. It's a humbling experience and it takes a lot of bravery and… in my experience anyway. And you know we're just getting ready to launch our next foundation course August tenth, here. And I watched our launch video that I made, we made or whatever, that I had a huge hand in making and I'm watching myself on video and I'm watching the script we put together and I'm watvhing how we're editing it all together, and I'm watching it and I'm like “holy shit. I'm a badass.” And then I'm watching the video and I'm like “oh, fuck.” I can catch myself feeling a little extra worthy right now because I look so good on video. Then I'm like oh damn. There's some worth attached to what I'm doing. Right there.
That was just yesterday. And it was really subtle and it snuck in and I was like oh crap, look at that, look at me actually feeling worthy because of something I've done. That's not unconditional love, that's conditional love and worth exists in conditional love. Worth is not even a concept in unconditional love because there's nothing to earn it it's just there. You can do nothing to gain or lose it, you just are unconditionally loved. So I just sat in the feeling I had worth of that like oh, man. And I feel sad. You can actually just feel the sadness of it. Like oh, great. Yeah, maybe I'll finally be worthy now because I published this video. And im like oh, fuck. That's really sad. So I just feel into the sadness until it reduces and I'm like, all right cool, that video is really awesome and I love being really good in it because it's just fun to be really good and for no other reason.
And now like I choose mastery. Now I choose being remarkable. Now I choose being Olympic in my discipline. I put in the hours because being excellent feels good and it's so much more enjoyable, like I said. You end up doing the same thing you're already doing anyway except when you do it from this place of love, love just wants to be masterful. So you do it for the ecstasy and experience of being remarkable. And that in it's self is the reward. So, I mean, it can come up and occur. And it took that video yesterday for me to feel it again. And oh shit. There it is again creeping up on me, that motherfucker.
Dane: That's like a really good point, though, and I didn't even really consider. Is that it's a double edge sword, you know you got these feelings of worth and they can be poor feelings of worth or over excited feelings of worth, as well. I didn't really consider that other side of the coin to it. That you have to catch yourself in both of those circumstances.
Barry: Yeah. Yeah, you know. My opinion is, if you want to be a truly happy human break away all ideas of worth that have anything to do with you earning love doing something to feel fulfilled. The greatest news that I could ever share from the deepest part of my heart, anybody listening, is I have wonderful news for you.
Dane: So here we are, on the active marketer with Barry, you've been listening to us. And it's… isn't it the damndest thing that we're here on automation marketing and we're talking about the issue of self worth. And so, I'm really touched that we got to have this conversation today. And for those of you listening, I just want to tell you something really important that you need to hear, that I feel you need to hear. You may not need to hear it. For those of you that struggle with issues of self worth, earning, doing things to earn love. You know, instead of earning a living we've been taught how to earn a loving. Just bull shit. Or you know, the not-enough-ness. If you're struggling in those realms, the greatest news I could ever tell you, is that not only are you worthy beyond measure but that you're worth was never in question in the first place. The worth of your heart, the worth of your soul. The worth of you. Has actually never been in question.
What's happened is you've been surrounded by other people, who have self worth issues and they've projected their self worth issues on to you. So you took them on in your innocence when in reality you were always beyond worthy. And your worth was never really in question. In the deepest form of truth and reality your worth has never been in question it's only been because you're surrounded by all these people who question their own worth.
So when you step into this concept of worth. What does that even mean? I suppose I'm worthy, I guess I'm not unworthy either. Like I think I'm just loved, no matter what. I think I have value no matter what. And then when you go to live from that place you can do remarkable work. Because the place that you work from… you're going to go do the same thing that you're going to do right now, after this podcast, but the reason that you do it, is because you enjoy id and it feels good not to prove anything.
So the automation marketing sequence becomes this fun journey. You're like oh my gosh, this is so great. As opposed to burden[inaudible 00:37:05] process where you're just like okay. I just got to figure out how to get this sequence together so I can make a million a year or a million a month or whatever your self worth number is. And then, the beautiful thing, the truly deeply beautiful thing about this is that when your worth is off the table and you do things for the sole sake of enjoyment, the mastery that you execute and implement is insane. You get to build and create and do things at a remarkable level, truly because the activity feels good. And that is where life becomes deeply, deeply enjoyable.
Barry: Wow. What a fantastic episode. Dane, you are a champion, man. And I really appreciate you coming on and sharing your super power with us. I think everyone could benefit from heading over to the foundation and finding out more about how you help people basically come over their limiting beliefs and become champion business people. And as you said a lot of people start out wanting to do software business end up doing something else because they don't have that self worth issue tied to this is what I have to do, they're free to pursue whatever it is they want to pursue.
Dane: People do the damndest, coolest things when they feel worthy.
Barry: Yeah, awesome.
Dane: They build bird feeders all day, just because they enjoy it.
Barry: Well, I really appreciate taking time with you and I urge everyone to check out thefoundation.com. I hope to see you online again soon.
Dane: Yeah, man. Thanks, Barry.
Barry: Wow. Really interesting stuff there from Dane. And I want to thank him for taking the time to come on and share that with us today. I also want to appreciate you, the listener, for spending time with us today and all the other episodes you may have listened to. Really do appreciate that. Thank you for spending time with us. You can find all the show notes from this episode over at theactivemarketer.com/dane, D, A, N, E. We have another great show for you next week where we get back to our kind of marketing automation roots and we talk to comerce rockstar Ezra Firestone. He shares some of his best e commerce follow up sequences and secrets with us so don't miss out on that show. See you next week, everybody. In the meantime get out there and design, automate, and scale your business to the next level with marketing automation.
Announcer: Thanks for listening to The Active Marketer podcast. You can find the show notes and all the latest auto marketing news over at theactivemarketer.com